The Fear of Love and…Loss
Is an exit always at the back of your mind?
It took me 20 years before I truly embraced the love of my life. It took so long because I was afraid. I was scared of the total destruction that would take place within me if our marriage failed. I waited for him to change. I had watched other relationships that seemed solid at first (both sexes) fall into the cheating trap. Why would we be any different?
Until then I thought I was in deep love. But there are different levels of affection. Of course, there is the love that you have on your wedding day. You don’t realize it, but for most, it is shallow.
You and your beloved are shiny, beautiful objects that are bonding together to make something new. You are actually uniting against the world and you want to conquer it together.
But even if you’ve lived together, you still have not experienced the day-to-day reality of marriage.
Then there is the love that grows when you have children. Or maybe you don’t have children…because it’s not a requirement.
This love is the kind that grows when together you figure out how to handle your children’s illnesses, financial hardships, external pressures, and your own illnesses. You will have adversity.
